Simple Techniques to Increase Your Likeability at Work

By MARTY NEMKO
March 4, 2013

Marty Nemko
Even if you're already popular, who wouldn't want to be better liked, at work and outside? Marriage and Parenting Researcher John Gottman's simple concept of moving toward/moving away can be helpful.

Every behavior in a human interaction is a moving toward, neutral, or moving away behavior. A moving toward behavior increases the bond between you and your conversation partner. Moving away behavior does the opposite.

When you read these, they may seem obvious. Yet so many people unintentionally perform moving away behaviors.

Moving toward behaviors

• A question of interest: "How'd that project turn out?" (But not if you know it failed and you're merely playing gotcha.)
  
• Amplifying: "Could your idea be applied to Mary's project?"
  
• A commonality: "Hey, me too!"
  
• Taking notes when someone is talking.
  
• An offer to help: "I'm busy now but I'd be happy to help later this afternoon." ("I'm busy now" without the latter phrase is a moving away statement.)
  
• Not-demeaning teasing: "I'll bet you don't dare ask the boss for a raise" said with a pleasant smile on your face.
  
• Agreeing: "Good point."
  
• Positive body language: a smiling nod of acknowledgement or agreement, arms uncrossed, leaning forward, legs uncrossed. The latter doesn't apply to women wearing dresses or skirts.
  

Neutral behaviors

• Ignoring something you disagree with, having decided that the benefit of disagreeing is outweighed by the liability.
  
• Providing a piece of information but not if it can be perceived as condescending.
  
• Listening with a flat expression and body language. (Leaning forward and nodding would be a moving toward behavior.)
  

Moving away behaviors

• You're walking past someone's cubicle. They're looking at you. You avert your eyes.
  
• A sigh of frustration with the person. A mere sigh can signal, "I can't believe you did that. You're an idiot."
  
• A commonality that demeans: "It's frustrating that we both went to the University of Maryland and I'm still sitting here in this entry-level job."
  
• Negative body language: arms crossed or akimbo, lack of eye contact, foot-tapping, standing with your foot pointing toward the door (like you're eager to escape from that person).
  
• Disparaging a statement's credibility: "Until now, no one has ever criticized me so much."
  
• Diminishing a statement's value: "Sure, that could work but..."
  
• Demeaning teasing: "You were brilliant in that meeting." (when the person got ripped for a comment they made.)
  
• Disagreeing: "I could see your point but..." Of course, there are times to disagree but realize that you pay a price.
  

Gottman says it takes five times as many moving toward as moving away behaviors to keep a relationship positive. That may be a rule of thumb: For every five moving toward statements, you may have built up enough of a reservoir that allows you to make a single moving away statement without paying a heavy price. Being adherent to that pattern can come in handy when you feel the need to disagree with a person's assertion.

Alas, it's one thing to know what will make a person like you. It's another to make yourself do it, especially if you don't like the person, and most especially if the person has done you wrong.

It might help to remember the old saw: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Your moving toward behaviors might neutralize the person's enmity or make them more likely to think he or she can trust you with juicy information about others. After all, if the person has bad-mouthed you, he or she probably say all sorts of evil things about others. Knowledge is power.

A Trick To Get Your Resume Past Applicant Tracking Systems - Careers Articles

By Vivian Giang When you apply for a job at a larger firm, there's a high chance that your resume will be scanned by a filtering software for words related to certain job vacancies. This kind of automation process will also reject your resume if it doesn't "meet traditional, business-dictated document formatting," writes Rick Gillis in his book Job!: Learn How to Find Your Next Job In 1 Day Here are some formatting rules that Gillis says job seekers should follow to create a filtering software-friendly resume:

• Do not place your contact information in the header of your resume, because filtering softwares can be set to ignore headers and footers so there is a risk this information will be deleted.
• Choose a conservative font such as Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, or Calibri. Gillis says that serif fonts, such as Times Roman or Cambria may be rejected by screening software.
• Do not use any script fonts.
• The smallest font size to use for the body of your resume should be 11 point. "Any smaller and you're probably asking for trouble."
• No graphics or logos.
• Do not format using tables.
• No borders.
• A one-inch margin top and bottom is best.
• Do not use any lines that cross the entire page from margin to margin, because "some filters have been created that will reject a document for nothing more than having a single line run continuously across the page," he writes.

'via Blog this'

19 Clicks or Less | Surprising Science

The Opte Project creates visualizations of the 14 billion pages that make up the network of the web. Image via Opte Project

No one knows for sure how many individual pages are on the web, but right now, it’s estimated that there are more than 14 billion. Recently, though, Hungarian physicist Albert-László Barabási discovered something surprising about this massive number: Like actors in Hollywood connected by Kevin Bacon, from every single one of these pages you can navigate to any other in 19 clicks or less.

Barabási’s findings, published yesterday in Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, involved a simulated model of the web that he created to better understand its structure. He discovered that of the roughly 1 trillion web documents in existence—the aforementioned 14 billion-plus pages, along with every image, video or other file hosted on every single one of them—the vast majority are poorly connected, linked to perhaps just a few other pages or documents.

Distributed across the entire web, though, are a minority of pages—search engines, indexes and aggregators—that are very highly connected and can be used to move from area of the web to another. These nodes serve as the “Kevin Bacons” of the web, allowing users to navigate from most areas to most others in less than 19 clicks.

Barabási credits this “small world” of the web to human nature—the fact that we tend to group into communities, whether in real life or the virtual world. The pages of the web aren’t linked randomly, he says: They’re organized in an interconnected hierarchy of organizational themes, including region, country and subject area.

Interestingly, this means that no matter how large the web grows, the same interconnectedness will rule. Barabási analyzed the network looking at a variety of levels—examining anywhere from a tiny slice to the full 1 trillion documents—and found that regardless of scale, the same 19-click-or-less rule applied.

This arrangement, though, reveals cybersecurity risks. Barabási writes that knocking out a relatively small number of the crucial nodes that connect the web could isolate various pages and make it impossible to move from one to another. Of course, these vital nodes are among the most robustly protected parts of the web, but the findings still underline the significance of a few key pages.

To get an idea of what this interconnected massive network actually looks like, head over to the Opte Project, an endeavor started by Barrett Lyon in 2003 to create publicly available visualizations of the web. In the map above, for example, red lines represent links between web pages in Asia, green for Europe, the Middle East and Africa, blue for North America, yellow for Latin America and white for unknown IP addresses. Although the most recent visualization is several years old, Lyon reports that he’s currently working on a new version of the project that will be released soon.

Posted By: Joseph Stromberg

Location Doesn't Always Matter When Pursuing Your Dream Job

from Lifehacker Adam Dachis

Finding your own way and pursuing your dream job is a scary prospect, and to comfort ourselves we tend to prescribe conventions to the process. In most minds, New York is for theater, San Francisco is for tech start ups, and Los Angeles is for movies, but when it comes to your dream job you don't have to share your location with others doing the same thing. Oscar-nominated directorBenh Zeitlin discusses how he couldn't make it in New York, so he moved:

When I was in New York and I couldn't support myself doing exactly what I wanted to do, I moved. I went somewhere where I could squat till I could figure out how to make what I wanted to make. So that always came first. So I just think prioritizing. If you have to do something you don't want to do all day long, you won't have the emotional energy to create stuff.

If you're looking for your dream job, don't assume it's necessarily where other professionals in the field congregate. Go where you'll have the most time to be the most creative, and then when you're successful you can move where everyone else goes—if you still want to.

http://99u.com/articles/7287/Oscar-Nominated-Director-Benh-Zeitlin-on-Not-Waiting-For-Permission | The 99u

Photo by Rakkhi Samarasekera.

The One Interview Question You Should Ask

The Build Network

The One Interview Question You Should Ask

This question is guaranteed to reveal the most organized, analytical, and efficient candidates.

Getty

"I want you to explain something to me. Pick any topic you want: a hobby you have, a book you’ve read, a project you worked on--anything. You’ll have just five minutes to explain it. At the beginning of the five minutes you shouldn't assume anything about what I know, and at the end I should understand whatever is most important about this topic. During the five minutes, I might ask you some questions, and you can ask me questions. Take as much time as you want to think it through, and let me know when you want to start."

-- Kevin Morrill, CTO and co-founder of Referly, a San Francisco-based start-up. He has used this question more than 200 times.

"It is amazing how many candidates will not premeditate before diving into this interview question," adds Morrill on the Referly blog. "What's most incredible about this is how accurately it predicts disorganized and non-goal directed behavior on the job. I’ve been overruled a few times by my manager on a hiring decision, and this question was a harbinger of things to come. Conversely, the people who think it through and have a few crystal clear points are amongst the best people I’ve worked with."

Before using the question, consider these pointers:

"As they start explaining, I make sure to have the most vacant look on my face possible," writes Morrill. "I do not give any ‘uh huh’ or ‘I see’ kind of interjections that underlie most conversations. A star candidate will pick up on this and ask if I understand so far.

"Explaining by analogy is a shortcut some of the best candidates use. One example I heard while someone was teaching me the basics of poker was to take advantage of the fact I had played backgammon even though I hadn’t played poker. He talked about how in backgammon all the pieces on the board are exposed information that both players can see, but in poker you have hidden information. These types of explanations go a long way towards quickly communicating an idea with all kinds of implications very succinctly.”

Morrill notes that "only one or two out of every 10 candidates will do well on all these points." But those numbers should improve: At press time, Referly was hiring for engineering and marketing positions. We’re guessing the new candidates will be a little more prepared.

via inc.com

Lip-Sticking: Write A Thank You Letter That Stands Out

February 05, 2013

Write A Thank You Letter That Stands Out

Guest post by Hannah Morgan, The Career Sherpa

The interview is over and you are relieved, but don’t relax yet, your work isn’t done. Thanking the interviewer could be one of the most important step you can take in closing the deal! Do you wonder what you should you say? Here are the answers to the five most commonly asked thank you letter questions.

 When Do I Send My Thank You?

You should send your thank you immediately following your interview. Usually that means within 24 to 48 hours. Actually, let’s step back a second. Before you leave the interview you must ask a couple of really important questions!

1. What are the next steps in the process

2. What is their time-frame for making a decision AND if you don’t hear from them by the stated date, what is the best way for you to follow up?

These questions serve a couple of purposes. First, asking these questions shows you are interested in the job and will take accountability for following up. Second, you now know when you should follow up and you’ve gotten their permission, so you won’t feel like a pest when you do follow up.

Do I really need to send a thank you?

There is more than one reason you are writing this letter. You are being polite, yes. But above and beyond that, this is part of the sales process. You are convincing them that you are the right candidate. Additionally, sending a thank you helps make you memorable. Believe it or not, not everyone sends a thank you. When the organization is interviewing lots of people, it is very easy for them to mix candidates up or forget specifics. Your thank you helps remind them who you are! In fact, according to CareerBuilder’s 2011 study, one out of five hiring managers are less likely to hire someone who does NOT send a cover letter.

Is It a Letter or a Note?

The interview is a business transaction. It isn’t a birthday party, bridal shower or social event. This is why I strongly believe your thank you should be in typed letter with three paragraphs (just like your cover letter). Yes, this is a much debated topic and I’ve heard the arguments for a handwritten note. But I am taking a stand on this. You have more to say than just “thank you” and that may be difficult to do in a handwritten note.

How Long Should it Be?

The letter should be easily digestible by the reader. Keep it a single page with three simple paragraphs.

Paragraph 1: This two- or three-sentence paragraph explains why you are writing…thank you.

Paragraph 2: This paragraph reminds the interviewer why your specific skills are a match for the job and how you will add value to their organization.
This might also be an opportunity to address any of your areas of weakness during the interview or to improve upon an answer you gave during the interview.

Paragraph 3: In this paragraph, emphasize your gratitude for the opportunity and state when YOU will be following up.

If you can accomplish this in a handwritten note, be my guest!

Snail Mail vs. E-Mail?

You know what their time frame is for making a decision so let that determine the sense of urgency and how you decide to deliver your Thank You. It isn’t about which is easier for you. Think about the impression you will be making on the other person.

Sometimes you may want to do both. If this is the case, make the email different from the letter. Email, by definition, is shorter and a bit less formal. Go ahead and send a well crafted email thanking the interviewer(s) for their time and indicate that you have mailed them a letter as well.

 Additional Pointers

• Interject the right tone/personality to fit the organizational culture and personality of the person interviewing you.
• Customize your letter for each and every interview and interviewer (no form letters, please).
• Be as specific as possible when talking about how your skills/qualifications match the job and why that is of value to the organization.
• Use a formal business letter heading and closing.

Quintessential Careers has a vast collection of Sample Job Interview and Career Thank You letters. I recommend you check them out to get ideas on how to phrase your own letter!

 

via lipsticking.com

How to Tell Your Story in Job Interviews

Alan Carniol is the Founder of InterviewSuccessFormula.com, an online training program that helps job seekers deliver powerful answers that prove why they are the right person for the job. Follow Alan and Interview Success Formula on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.

Imagine sitting in a job interview. You're already nervous. You know you have something to contribute. You really admire the company. However, when the interviewer asks you to tell them about yourself, you buckle. You realize telling your story in person is quite difficult. You stumble or forget the most important pieces of your personal story, potentially damaging your interview experience. Now what?

We create stories about ourselves in mere minutes online in social profiles or blog "about" pages. Why is it so hard to tell the same story in person? Perhaps the solution is to merge your two stories, your online self and offline self, together in order to optimize your image. The following are a few tips that can help you to craft a compelling personal story for job interviews.

Your Two Stories

According to Rafe Gomez, author of What's In It For Me: A Powerful New Interview Strategy to Get Hired In Today's Challenging Economy, the trick is to create validations.

"The online story — blog posts, articles, etc. — should validate the assertions and promises made in the offline story — resume — if you're seeking to leave a positive and memorable impression in a job interview. For instance, if you're presenting yourself in interviews as being an experienced sales executive who has delivered results for your employers, your online story should support this assertion,” Gomez says.

Further, blending the two stories will back up any career history claims you've made during the interview. "Online mentions of, references about, or discussion of your accomplishments will serve to legitimize your offline claims, and make it indisputable that you could be an invaluable addition to your interviewer's organization.”

Consistency

According to TheLadders job search expert Amanda Augustine, making the two as similar as possible can make telling your story more interesting.

"Your online presence and interview responses give you a chance to provide more color to your career history. You can go into more detail and really show your passion for a particular industry or company in ways that aren't possible in a resume. However, the bottom line is that both stories should be similarly positioned,” Augustine says.

Look at your interview story as a way to "sell" your accomplishments, strengths and motivations to the interviewer. By doing so, you clearly show why you're worthy of the position.

"Remember that as a job seeker, you must develop a personal advertising campaign to tell prospective employers and recruiters what you're great at and passionate about, and how that's of value to an organization. Your online presence, resume, and how you pitch yourself during networking events and interviews are all components of this campaign. Each of these components needs to tell one consistent story to build a strong personal brand,” Augustine explains.

Be Sure Your Story Checks Out

A recent JobVite survey indicated nearly four out of five hiring managers and recruiters check candidates' social profiles. It's possible you will be researched online before your interview. If your offline story does not match your online one, the interviewer may challenge you.

"Before an interview, make sure you Google your name so you know what any recruiter or hiring manager will see when they search for you (and trust me, they will). If any damaging results show up, now you have a chance to try and remove them or at least prepare a response for the interview. The worst thing you can do is look surprised or taken off guard when an interviewer challenges your story based on something they found online," says Augustine.

It's also important to spin the conversation back to your accomplishments if things start to go sour. According to George Dutch of JobJoy, flush out concern by asking what caught their attention and if they have any specific concerns about your capabilities.

"Understanding the interview as a risk assessment exercise helps you respond appropriately to these kinds of challenges. It's not personal — they don't know you — it's them doing their due diligence," Dutch says.

Creating your interview story in a digital era means more than telling the interviewer about yourself. Merge your online and offline stories to create a more cohesive story. Doing so helps the interviewer understand why you're right for the job.

via mashable.com