The other day we celebrated my wife’s birthday and we had a great time. You see, we’ve been married almost four years and I know the kinds of things she likes. I made her dinner (instead of going out) because she enjoys when I put together dinner. I got her clothes instead of jewelry because she seems to have a glut of jewelry but has wanted some more clothing. We chilled out and watched Sunday Night Football and the original Pink Panther movie because she loves football and old movies.
I’m only telling you this now because I used to stress out about my wife’s birthday. Of course, this was when we were dating so it always seemed more precarious. If you asked me what I stressed about, I couldn’t answer you right now. I just don’t know. I can’t remember. I just know that now I enjoy it and before, it seemed more stressful than enjoyable.
People ask me dating advice sometimes. These people are idiots. I have no idea what advice to give a person dating someone right now. A woman I know asked me how she should entice her man to give her a call once in a while. My answer (”Tell him to call you more”) was met with groans. Of course, this is why after you get married, you start just hanging around other married people.
Here’s where I’m going: everyone feels qualified to give dating advice because almost everyone has been on dates. The same thing happens with job seeking. Everyone has looked for a job so they all think they can give you advice. That’s great but the longer you’ve been out of the market, the more your advice is going to suck.
The nice thing about the perspective HR professionals bring to the table is that they see many of the techniques that simply don’t work. What I’ve found though is that many people in HR can’t tell you what works. Their advice is often risk adverse and safe.
And that’s really the advice that sells. It is boring but it also won’t disqualify you from many positions. So it is like me telling a person dating to not pick their nose during their date. If the person didn’t already know that, it will probably help them a bit. Of course, if it were as simple as not picking your nose and making sure to have good hygiene, many more people would be married than there are right now.
Most job seeking advice is the same as dating advice from a married man. It has more to do with what not to do than specific actions that can actually help you win a job (or a date).
That advice is a lot more difficult though. That’s why you will rarely get it from a married man or a person who has already established their career.
by Lance Haun
